As I prepared for this trip, I had many people tell me that this was going to be a life-changing experience and that I wouldn’t come home quite the same. As much as I wanted to believe it I just didn’t feel like it was going to apply to me. I knew I would have a much greater appreciation for Africa and the Kingdom of Swaziland but I figured I would be too busy pouring into the children that I wouldn’t have any time to allow God to pour into me. My team and I are now less than a month away from arriving back into the comforts of our own homes and as look back on myself I am amazed at the work God has done in my heart without me even realizing it.
Two months ago I arrived in Atlanta very unsure of the next three months ahead of me and whether or not I was even in God’s will. I was broken, emotionally and spiritually, and as training camp came and went I found myself even more broken. Scars from my past and the present were revealed in plain sight, lost relationships weighed heavily on my heart, and my own selfish ambitions were brought to light. I was surrounded by a team that I had only known for a few days, I had been cut off from all my family and friends, and I had nowhere to run but into the arms of Christ. The idea of relying completely on Him terrified me. I needed control.
Until a couple of weeks ago I wrestled with God and I fought for control in my own life nearly on a daily basis. It was through a situation at home that He truly revealed to me that His plan for me is perfect, and through that situation I was encouraged to let go completely. Even after I gave up the fight, God revealed Himself to me so clearly through His Word, my teammates, and even to the people I minister to that everything is under control. His control.
It’s been a few weeks since I gave everything over but I am still amazed and inspired each day that God is blessing every step I am taking in the perfect path He has created for me. I know with full assurance that I am not coming home the same but that I will be going home a new servant of Christ. He is still molding me into the person He wants me to be and I cannot wait to see the future that lies ahead of me regarding my family, my relationships, and the start of the rest of my life.
Ok Erin…you almost made me cry on this one! I’m so thankful for you and your amazing heart and your desire to serve the Lord. It blesses my heart to see God molding you into the woman He wants you to be. I know the breaking process hurts and giving over control is SO hard, but He is worth it all!! I love you SO much girl and cant wait to hear all about your trip. See you in a few weeks…yea!!
Love,
C 🙂
Erin, you and your team are having an incredible impact there as well as here! Thank you for sharing from your heart. You are challenging our faith as well. God bless you all!