“I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him.” Lamentations 3:24-28
Throughout this journey God has been teaching me to be still and listen for His voice. This has become a daily routine now and I feel like I am able to hear Him so much better now that I have stopped talking. Funny how that works! Every week we go to the hospital in Manzini and I visit the women’s and children’s ward. My heart is for the women there so I usually spend the majority of my time there. For the past 2 ½ weeks I have been visiting the same women each time in order to build relationships.
There is one woman that is dying from AIDS and is in her twenties. During visiting hours she never has family come see her. She can only lie down because she is so weak, and she can’t even feed herself. Every time I go I feed her lunch and sit with her about an hour and ½. This past Thursday was Valentine’s Day and I gave her some heart stickers and tried to make her feel really special and loved. As I was feeding her I felt like I needed to sing praises over her. I started singing old hymns and worship songs over her and she finally smiled! It was really awesome because she has seemed really down lately. I know she doesn’t speak English but I prayed that the Lord would speak to her heart some how. I also learned a song in Siswati and was able to sing something she could understand. It was really amazing singing praises to my Lord, and even though she may not understand me I know that God was glorified in that moment.
After I sang I prayed over her and she closed her eyes to pray with me. It was weird though because I didn’t feel the Spirit telling me to pray for healing for her. I prayed that she would be comfortable and that she would have a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus. All I could really do was pray for her salvation and that she would just see Jesus in me as I was serving her and visiting her twice a week. After that I left so I am hoping she is still there on Tuesday when I go back. I am learning to listen to the Spirit of God to guide me as I pray over people.
Almost every time I go to the hospital to visit someone at least one of my ladies or children that I visit has died. It’s really hard to deal with emotionally because you want to put your heart into each relationship, but you have to be okay with the fact that they may not be there the next time you visit. This is one of the most challenging things I’ve had to deal with here. I just have to remind myself the God is sovereign and He reigns, even over these circumstances. Sometimes we just need to be still, sit in His presence, and listen for His voice.
“But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.” 1 Samuel 12:24
